Well, hello there. Who are you?
Image via Netflix
Based on your vibe, you’ve finished the entire season of You on Netflix and are now pondering your life choices… or you’ve heard of the show and are curious about why everyone’s talking about it.
Okay, I bite.
The 10-episode stalker romance-slash-thriller has been a huge hit with global audiences since premiering on Netflix last year on the day after Christmas. A compelling look into social media culture and its effects on romance (or lack thereof) in the 21st century, You was reportedly watched by 40 million viewers within a month of its release.
The show stars Penn Badgley a.k.a. Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl as Joe, a bookstore manager who falls in love with aspiring writer Beck (played by Elizabeth Lail) and starts stalking her on social media to charm his way into her life
Image via Netflix
Before you go any further, do note that there will be SPOILERS AHEAD from this point onward.
Now don’t let those high cheekbones and defined jawline fool you; beneath that harmless boy-next-door facade lies a creepy psychopath who would do anything – including following her around and even murder – to make Beck fall in love with him.
Penn Badgley – who toes the line between creepy and charming so marvellously in You – may not be too keen on us rooting for Joe, but we just can’t help getting hooked onto the character’s unsettling narrative and horrible schemes.
Charming psychos aside, You definitely served up some cold hard truths on how we navigate life in the 21st century. We’ve certainly learnt some lessons about dealing with social media and potential stalkers:
1. ALWAYS. BUY. CURTAINS.
Especially when your ground level apartment’s huge a windows are facing THE STREET.
What Beck should’ve been Googling for instead of texting f*ccboi Benji.
Image via Twitter @NetflixNL
2. If you cannot afford curtains or just really love having natural light streaming into your room or whatever, be more than a little aware of what’s happening (or who’s watching) outside
HE WASN’T EVEN HIDING BEHIND THE PLANT, BECK.
Image via Lifetime
3. Don’t give strangers your full name. Or your Facebook name. Or Instagram handle.
Before you know it, they’ve gotten your phone number from a friend of a mutual friend and now you have a creepy message saying “Hello beautiful” from an unknown number.
Image via Netflix
4. Don’t post every single detail of your life on social media, especially when it comes to tagging your location
If there’s anything that Joe taught me, it’s that you don’t need fancy tech to look up a person’s place of residence and friends and family members. You just have to look through the things they post and the places they check in to on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Image via Netflix
5. Start limiting visibility and set your social media accounts to “Private”
Not gonna lie, I felt attacked when Joe theorised that people who set their social media accounts to “Public” want to be “seen, heard… known”, so… brb setting my phone on fire.
Live footage of me rn after finishing #YOU on Netflix — pic.twitter.com/hlgX3iikSW
— LINDSAY (@linnerdskynnerd) January 8, 2019
6. If you ever lose your phone, disable the device’s access to the “cloud” or whatever back-up it is auto-synced to… and CHANGE ALL YOUR PASSWORDS
Your “lost” phone could be hidden in some creepy boi’s ceiling, still receiving messages and e-mails meant for you.
Image via Twitter @YouNetflix
7. Be more engaged with your family members and friends, coz keeping them updated via social media posts sent to the masses can only go so far
They might not even notice you’ve vanished off the face of the earth because some psycho is tweeting and tagging geolocations on your behalf.
Image via Netflix
8. Don’t tell your enemies (or your captors) about your allergies
Well, the first step is “don’t follow a random stranger you’ve just met into basement” but it’s too late for that…
Image via Lifetime
9. Listen to Marie Kondo. Tidy up so you’ll notice when your underwear and/or other personal belongings go missing from your own home.
Image via giphy.com
10. Always be alert and aware of your surroundings in public, especially when you’re alone
Image via Lifetime
11. Once more for emphasis, BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. Use your peripherals!
Image via Netflix
He’s sitting RIGHT THERE, Beck. Peach. Anyone!
12. If someone at a party tells you how “mysterious” your date’s ex’s disappearance was… that’s a sign that you should probably run and disappear from his life
Image via Netflix
13. If your significant other is following you around without your knowledge, that’s definitely a red flag
Image via Lifetime
14. If he’s acting sketchy about the basement only he’s allowed to enter, you should run far, far away from this guy before you end up in a glass cage
Image via Lifetime
15. If you don’t already, please close the door when you’re bathing. Your BFF could be spying on you.
Image via Netflix
16. But if she’s offering to fly the both of you to Paris and support you while you pursue your dreams, take that chance even if it sounds too good to be true… coz you could be saving both of your lives
Me if Peach Salinger asked me to go to Paris with her to live for free while she supports my dreams #YouOnNetflix #YOUNetflix pic.twitter.com/4JzHkPzH9D
— Defiant Edges (@Messy_Jaja) January 15, 2019
17. Never reveal your secret hiding places to anyone
The child you tell it to could let it slip to your girlfriend, who’s gonna find your creepy little treasure box in the ceiling and… well.
Image via Netflix
18. Also, don’t pee in a jar
Image via Netflix
19. If he says he’s not a killer… he probably is a killer
Image via Lifetime
Is it just me, or does Joe look a little bit like Ted Bundy here?
20. Last but not least, never trust someone who proclaims he’s a nice guy. As Joe put it, “At the end of the day, people are really just disappointing, aren’t they?”
Image via Twitter @xdanielley