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Dealing with endless checklists, tight budgets, and kepoh relatives can take its toll on a couple planning for their marriage.
1. Prepare your ‘thank you’ speech!
“We didn’t prepare a speech, and basically drew a blank when we had to go on stage (my husband only thanked his mum that night. We left out everybody else).” – Judith, married for four years
2. Don’t spend too much time stressing about seating arrangements
“[Just] work with what’s within your control and move on. It really doesn’t matter much and your guests will get up and move around or know how to sort themselves out.”- Sarah, married for two years
3. Choose crowd-pleasers that your guests will definitely enjoy!
“Pick crowd-pleasers — popular flavours, colours, etc. if you want to reduce your own stress. These items are usually easier to find, cheaper, and most of your guests will enjoy them.
“At the end of the day, you won’t look back and think about the menu or the colour scheme; you’ll just remember how you felt and the memories you made with your loved ones.” – Louisa, married for three months
4. It’s okay to not have everything figured out, including sex!
“I wish we knew the reality of sex… It’s not all quick and dreamy like those eight seconds in movies. My husband and I had a good few months figuring things out and that involved a lot of Googling!
“A lot of people seem to have it all good and going I guess but I’m sure there are some of us who need a little help. So, it’s probably good to talk to a few married friends who are open about such things. If not, laugh with your spouse and enjoy each phase! – Hooi Ying, married for one year
5. Don’t waste time doing things just because it’s expected at weddings, or because it would look good in photographs
“Looking back, I’d totally forego the ‘heng dai’ games and jump straight to the ceremony.
“It’s not meant to be the best dinner of your guests’ life. If things go wrong, it’s okay. People will complain, but at the end of the day, your wedding is pretty much just another wedding.” – Judith, married for four years
6. Pick which involved party you want to please
“You won’t please all parties, but if at least one party is happy at the end of the day, [then] it’s better than everyone being miserable about all the compromises.
“For example, if one partner’s parents are being difficult and you want them to be happy, then focus on their goals first before handling everyone else’s.” – Jun Min, married for five years
7. Start a savings plan, even if you are single or just dating
“Before your wedding day even arrives, it’s important to start saving as much money as you can. Every ringgit and cent counts.” – Jason, married two years
8. Smile and live for the moment… even if there are hiccups along the way. And there will be!
“Despite how much you plan and make sure that everything falls into place, there will be that one hiccup! My parents told me before the wedding, whatever that doesn’t quite go as planned, just keep smiling and let it go. Smile and live for the moment.
“There were hiccups on my wedding day definitely (not major ones thankfully), but I chose to let it go and am glad I did. I just choose to remember the good bits now and accept the not-so-good ones as part and parcel of life – imperfect.” – Diandra, married for seven months
9. Set aside time to interact with your guests
“I wanted to talk to a lot of people but I kept getting dragged to different tables for photos because we didn’t have enough time to interact with everyone. So, if you can, keep the number of your guests as low as possible.” – Afnan, married for three months
10. Hiring an emcee or DJ makes a lot of difference to your wedding atmosphere
“I had two weddings one with a DJ and one without and I could feel the difference. Having a DJ helps so much with the flow of the night.” – Christina, married for one year